It was both the most awkward and the most hopeful I had felt in weeks. Standing in a hospital room at the foot of a bed occupied by someone who had gone from "just fine" to "discuss the options" within two months. And there I was - smiling.
I didn't receive a funny text message. I wasn't looking in the hallway at a little kid making a funny face, either. In fact, I wasn't smiling because something was funny.
The woman in the bed was my maternal grandma, with my mom, one of two daughters, standing bedside, ear pressed right near her face because strength didn't allow the vocal cords to work well enough or loudly enough for regular conversation. A variety of medical issues led doctors to discover that Grandma has stomach cancer and it's not going away on its own anytime soon. It's the "leading" ailment in what is destroying her body and the options for her are few.
But that's what had me smiling: she was ready to choose and her choice was to put the gloves back on and contest cancer.
The things I could make out from what she was telling Mom included asking if my aunt was around (she's a nurse at that hospital) or if anyone else would be there. She wanted opinions from all her kids about the next steps that she should take. She wanted to start radiation on her stomach.
From what little I understand about serious situations like this, there comes a point in time when the ill person can decide to keep going or let it end. By saying she wants to try radiation, Grandma essentially was saying, "Let's keep going. I'm not ready to go." Those were the words I had been waiting to hear from her for awhile now, considering our family's mainly German background that probably wouldn't stand for "letting some disease tell ME how long I'm going to live!!" There's nothing fun about losing someone you love, but it's moments like this that can make a somewhat dire situation just a little easier to endure.
Previously as a player, and now as a coach, I've always disliked teams and players that don't have to try hard to win, they just always do. I feel like there needs to be a battle, or many battles, on the road to being great. This contrasted to hearing how hard a team or player worked every single day to become a champion. No time off, no excuses, just 100% of what you got. And even if that team or player loses the game, it's more acceptable if they gave all they had.
Grandma's leaving it all on the field... now it's up to life whether it's a "winning" or a "losing" battle. But regardless of immediate outcome, we can be proud of the fight.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Looking Back to Now
Thanksgiving allowed me to return home for an extended stretch of days -- a nice luxury considering the busy schedule I've kept since leaving home in the beginning of August. While at home, I not only stuffed my face, but also stuffed my personal recollection cabinet. I found an old CD wallet that held, among many other mixes, my football pre-game CD from my senior year in high school.
It was, however, another CD caught my eye because of its simple label of, "Personal Statement." I'm not sure to which school this particular document was sent, but I find it interesting because I'm still saying some of the same things now as I said back then. Only now I'm on the other side, re-iterating these ideas to the student-athletes that I coach.
Here's the statement, unedited in its entirety (so please excuse my grammatical and spelling errors):
A great person and coach Vince Lombardi once said, “Leaders aren’t born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.” Leaders also carry different names, such as “captain” and “top of the class.” Going in to my senior year, I had these titles placed beside my name. Leadership is doing everything needed behind the scenes to prepare for what is to come.
My teammates, whether it was in football or wrestling, have helped me to know my role as leader. They did not pick me because I was their best friend or because I forced them to do so. They picked me because they thought I would be a good representative of our team and be of help if they needed it.
I have always been told that sports will help you in all aspects of life. Physically you are called to push yourself beyond limits. Mentally, you have to be tough, or you can crumble underneath. But no matter how many wins and losses, receptions, takedowns, fumbles, interceptions, pins, or dropped passes you have in a high school career, you have to get up and go to school the next day. You have to be able to look at what you’ve done in the past and know those experiences will help you prepare for the future.
My athletic mentality has also helped me in the classroom. In sports, you need to prepare everyday for upcoming opponents. In academics, you need to review everyday for upcoming tests. I have shown my proficiency in the academic aspect through class rank and ACT scores, evidence of hard work out of the classroom showing up in the classroom.
I feel that my athletic, academic, spiritual, and social involvements thus far in my life have prepared me to take the next step. I have what it takes to be a leader at your school, and I ask for the opportunity to start with my acceptance.
Not every person is made to continue their education at an institution of higher learning. By the same token, not every person is made to be a factory worker, waitress, or telemarketer. Each person has his or her place in society; to fulfill his or her occupational destiny. I know that I can contribute to society by completing the steps necessary to become a professional in my field. The first step in this process is to fulfill my coursework in college, a step I want to complete at your school.
Leadership skills apply to academics as well as athletics. Those who play sports during school are called student-athletes, students first. I have proven that I can be a leader in the classroom, and I ask you for the opportunity to lead in your classrooms.
It was, however, another CD caught my eye because of its simple label of, "Personal Statement." I'm not sure to which school this particular document was sent, but I find it interesting because I'm still saying some of the same things now as I said back then. Only now I'm on the other side, re-iterating these ideas to the student-athletes that I coach.
Here's the statement, unedited in its entirety (so please excuse my grammatical and spelling errors):
A great person and coach Vince Lombardi once said, “Leaders aren’t born, they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.” Leaders also carry different names, such as “captain” and “top of the class.” Going in to my senior year, I had these titles placed beside my name. Leadership is doing everything needed behind the scenes to prepare for what is to come.
My teammates, whether it was in football or wrestling, have helped me to know my role as leader. They did not pick me because I was their best friend or because I forced them to do so. They picked me because they thought I would be a good representative of our team and be of help if they needed it.
I have always been told that sports will help you in all aspects of life. Physically you are called to push yourself beyond limits. Mentally, you have to be tough, or you can crumble underneath. But no matter how many wins and losses, receptions, takedowns, fumbles, interceptions, pins, or dropped passes you have in a high school career, you have to get up and go to school the next day. You have to be able to look at what you’ve done in the past and know those experiences will help you prepare for the future.
My athletic mentality has also helped me in the classroom. In sports, you need to prepare everyday for upcoming opponents. In academics, you need to review everyday for upcoming tests. I have shown my proficiency in the academic aspect through class rank and ACT scores, evidence of hard work out of the classroom showing up in the classroom.
I feel that my athletic, academic, spiritual, and social involvements thus far in my life have prepared me to take the next step. I have what it takes to be a leader at your school, and I ask for the opportunity to start with my acceptance.
Not every person is made to continue their education at an institution of higher learning. By the same token, not every person is made to be a factory worker, waitress, or telemarketer. Each person has his or her place in society; to fulfill his or her occupational destiny. I know that I can contribute to society by completing the steps necessary to become a professional in my field. The first step in this process is to fulfill my coursework in college, a step I want to complete at your school.
Leadership skills apply to academics as well as athletics. Those who play sports during school are called student-athletes, students first. I have proven that I can be a leader in the classroom, and I ask you for the opportunity to lead in your classrooms.
Monday, November 15, 2010
The UPS Go Down
I must say it's nice to be in the final stretch of days left working for United Parcel Service. For most, news of my quitting at UPS isn't new, but if you didn't know before, you know now.
In other words, don't blame me for holiday packages that show up late or never show up at all. That would have only been valid if you lived in Marysville anyway, since my main task since the beginning of September was to load three trucks that went there every day.
Anyone considering a job at UPS (not just a seasonal job, like a driver helper) should just know what he or she is getting into -- it's dirty, it's loud and, if you're like me, it requires you getting up at a grossly early time in the morning. The pay is pretty good and they offer tuition assistance, but I never got that because, apparently, I missed their deadline by starting about four days late. So yeah, there went about $1,000 I planned on getting.
Then there's the actual job part of it -- lots of lifting and lots of different positions. If you like to have one thing to do all the time, it's probably not going to be a job for you. Take, for instance, this morning, when the following took place:
...Was told on Friday to be in at 3 a.m. Monday. At 3:05 a.m. Monday, was told the schedule said I needed to be in at 4:40 a.m. Not about to just go home without getting any pay at all after waking up so early, I said I would stick around to do some things for an hour or so.
...Loaded and stacked boxes for six different trucks before being sent to a completely new box line with new supervisors and all people I've never seen before.
...Helped a loader there until being sent to work by myself because someone else took an Option Day, which essentially is a vacation day -- why they didn't know he would be off before the day even started, I'm not sure.
...Asked the new supervisor if he planned to have me there the entire shift, considering I got in at 3 a.m. -- this was news to him, so he told me to just leave and go home.
...Talked with my regular supervisor about whether he needed anything else -- he gave me another assignment to take care of two other trucks until another guy got back from somewhere else... then the supervisor came back 10 minutes later and told me to just leave.
Long story short, this was the most ridiculous day I had out of all of them at UPS. And now I just hope none of the last three days is as odd as today was. At any rate, there aren't many more chances for craziness to happen.
I plan on working as a substitute teacher for the time being. It all goes back to what I told myself before leaving Wisconsin, giving up on my undergraduate degree to earn a new one in Education...
Don't worry about money -- it'll take care of itself.
Don't do something unless it is moving you toward the end goal.
Don't let other people discourage you from making a tough decision.
Time to turn another new page... and to get some regular nights of sleep again.
In other words, don't blame me for holiday packages that show up late or never show up at all. That would have only been valid if you lived in Marysville anyway, since my main task since the beginning of September was to load three trucks that went there every day.
Anyone considering a job at UPS (not just a seasonal job, like a driver helper) should just know what he or she is getting into -- it's dirty, it's loud and, if you're like me, it requires you getting up at a grossly early time in the morning. The pay is pretty good and they offer tuition assistance, but I never got that because, apparently, I missed their deadline by starting about four days late. So yeah, there went about $1,000 I planned on getting.
Then there's the actual job part of it -- lots of lifting and lots of different positions. If you like to have one thing to do all the time, it's probably not going to be a job for you. Take, for instance, this morning, when the following took place:
...Was told on Friday to be in at 3 a.m. Monday. At 3:05 a.m. Monday, was told the schedule said I needed to be in at 4:40 a.m. Not about to just go home without getting any pay at all after waking up so early, I said I would stick around to do some things for an hour or so.
...Loaded and stacked boxes for six different trucks before being sent to a completely new box line with new supervisors and all people I've never seen before.
...Helped a loader there until being sent to work by myself because someone else took an Option Day, which essentially is a vacation day -- why they didn't know he would be off before the day even started, I'm not sure.
...Asked the new supervisor if he planned to have me there the entire shift, considering I got in at 3 a.m. -- this was news to him, so he told me to just leave and go home.
...Talked with my regular supervisor about whether he needed anything else -- he gave me another assignment to take care of two other trucks until another guy got back from somewhere else... then the supervisor came back 10 minutes later and told me to just leave.
Long story short, this was the most ridiculous day I had out of all of them at UPS. And now I just hope none of the last three days is as odd as today was. At any rate, there aren't many more chances for craziness to happen.
I plan on working as a substitute teacher for the time being. It all goes back to what I told myself before leaving Wisconsin, giving up on my undergraduate degree to earn a new one in Education...
Don't worry about money -- it'll take care of itself.
Don't do something unless it is moving you toward the end goal.
Don't let other people discourage you from making a tough decision.
Time to turn another new page... and to get some regular nights of sleep again.
Friday, July 9, 2010
2010 Notre Dame Football Previews
Just posted my first in a series of preview stories ahead of the 2010 Notre Dame football season.
Check it out by clicking here.
You can read some of my past Fighting Irish articles and keep track of all the posts by clicking on TheSportsBank.net's Notre Dame page.
As always, thanks for reading and please leave comments!! Go Irish!!
Check it out by clicking here.
You can read some of my past Fighting Irish articles and keep track of all the posts by clicking on TheSportsBank.net's Notre Dame page.
As always, thanks for reading and please leave comments!! Go Irish!!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The Latest
It's been awhile since a sports post on here. That's because I've moved on over to The Sports Bank to post my content, specifically (at least for right now) on the Cleveland Indians and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.
My latest article is about the chances of ND going into the Big Ten Conference. Click in the comments section of that story (or any of my others on the site) to leave feedback.
From now on, my athletic opinions will be saved there. Check back here if there's anything random/personal that you want to read. And, as always, THANKS!!
My latest article is about the chances of ND going into the Big Ten Conference. Click in the comments section of that story (or any of my others on the site) to leave feedback.
From now on, my athletic opinions will be saved there. Check back here if there's anything random/personal that you want to read. And, as always, THANKS!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Become Irreplaceable
A lot of my personal anger and disappointment comes from one feeling -- not being wanted. And I mean this in the most selfishly unselfish way possible.
If you were ever a middle-to-late round pick for backyard sports teams growing up, you know this feeling. If you were ever asked to play a completely different instrument because "it fits your style better" -- even though you know that has nothing to do with the decision -- you know this feeling. If you were ever laid off from a job and deep down inside you knew that the company was probably never going to be able to fill your shoes to your level, you know this feeling.
Now, on my own professional level, I know this feeling.
To make this clear from the start, I'm not passing blame about anything. I chose to quit my job at NBC15 to allow myself to go back to school for a degree in Education so I can teach and coach. It was definitely my decision. But a recent conversation with my bosses really tuned me into what some of this world is about.
My boss tried to convince me that people here will care that I'm leaving because I'm a likable person, which makes me feel pretty good about what I could establish with people I got to know in just under two years. He told me things like "it won't be the same" as far as the newsroom goes.
He also said when stations lose people, they miss that person's style and personality. But it's what he added specifically about the work that struck me -- "Everyone is replaceable."
This was evidence enough that I'm making the right decision to move on from where I am now. Try asking yourself the question, "Am I completely replaceable where I am right now??"
This can go for anything from job status to personal relationships and goes far beyond personality. Was Kurt Warner replaceable in St. Louis for the Rams?? Marc Bulger took over the spot and while he has two Pro Bowl selections to his name -- and no All-Pro selections -- he likely won't be leading a team to the Super Bowl at age 37 like Warner did for the Arizona Cardinals.
Warner isn't the only example of the display of being virtually irreplaceable. In no way am I saying I did such a good job in this position that they could never replace me at NBC15. In fact, I'm saying the exact opposite. I'm so replaceable that someone else should get the chance to shine in the position. It's your typical head coach statement to a player going through the motions during practice, "If you don't want to play, get out, and I'll find someone who really wants to be here."
I've often half-wondered what I would do if I ever found a new "favorite movie" or a new "favorite song" because my online bank account will ask me a random question from a list when I log on. One of those is "Who was your favorite teacher growing up?" I know mine and I'm pretty sure you probably know yours. Someday, if I'm up for it, maybe I'll be lucky enough to be the answer to somebody's "favorite teacher" question.
So now my mission continues towards finding my career for which I am irreplaceable, finding my someone to whom I am irreplaceable and showing others that my service to them, lessons for them and help to assist them are irreplaceable. Take a minute and think to yourself today about what you're doing now -- are you becoming the best person you can be?? Or are you simply existing??
Become irreplaceable.
If you were ever a middle-to-late round pick for backyard sports teams growing up, you know this feeling. If you were ever asked to play a completely different instrument because "it fits your style better" -- even though you know that has nothing to do with the decision -- you know this feeling. If you were ever laid off from a job and deep down inside you knew that the company was probably never going to be able to fill your shoes to your level, you know this feeling.
Now, on my own professional level, I know this feeling.
To make this clear from the start, I'm not passing blame about anything. I chose to quit my job at NBC15 to allow myself to go back to school for a degree in Education so I can teach and coach. It was definitely my decision. But a recent conversation with my bosses really tuned me into what some of this world is about.
My boss tried to convince me that people here will care that I'm leaving because I'm a likable person, which makes me feel pretty good about what I could establish with people I got to know in just under two years. He told me things like "it won't be the same" as far as the newsroom goes.
He also said when stations lose people, they miss that person's style and personality. But it's what he added specifically about the work that struck me -- "Everyone is replaceable."
This was evidence enough that I'm making the right decision to move on from where I am now. Try asking yourself the question, "Am I completely replaceable where I am right now??"
This can go for anything from job status to personal relationships and goes far beyond personality. Was Kurt Warner replaceable in St. Louis for the Rams?? Marc Bulger took over the spot and while he has two Pro Bowl selections to his name -- and no All-Pro selections -- he likely won't be leading a team to the Super Bowl at age 37 like Warner did for the Arizona Cardinals.
Warner isn't the only example of the display of being virtually irreplaceable. In no way am I saying I did such a good job in this position that they could never replace me at NBC15. In fact, I'm saying the exact opposite. I'm so replaceable that someone else should get the chance to shine in the position. It's your typical head coach statement to a player going through the motions during practice, "If you don't want to play, get out, and I'll find someone who really wants to be here."
I've often half-wondered what I would do if I ever found a new "favorite movie" or a new "favorite song" because my online bank account will ask me a random question from a list when I log on. One of those is "Who was your favorite teacher growing up?" I know mine and I'm pretty sure you probably know yours. Someday, if I'm up for it, maybe I'll be lucky enough to be the answer to somebody's "favorite teacher" question.
So now my mission continues towards finding my career for which I am irreplaceable, finding my someone to whom I am irreplaceable and showing others that my service to them, lessons for them and help to assist them are irreplaceable. Take a minute and think to yourself today about what you're doing now -- are you becoming the best person you can be?? Or are you simply existing??
Become irreplaceable.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
My Own QB & A Session
Football players read and react all the time, so now I'm giving my own shot in reply to the news about Cleveland Browns quarterbacks, current and former. Get ready for a "ruthless" review.
Let's start with rumors -- it was David Carr to Cleveland if San Francisco didn't sign him. I hoped this wasn't a starting quarterback move, but actually wasn't too terribly unhappy about it simply for the comedy factor. In their heydays of starting, the Tim Couch - David Carr tandem took 425 sacks, which filters down to 3.17 sacks per start between them. To put that in perspective with one of the best, Peyton Manning's career goes two years longer than Couch-Carr combined and he has averaged 1.12 sacks per start (not that the Browns had any chance to draft him anyway).
Once Carr was off the table, the focus shifted to Seattle backup quarterback Seneca Wallace. The Browns landed him in a trade on Thursday, sending a late-round pick in the 2011 draft to the Seahawks (assuming Wallace passes a physical Wednesday). I was very unsure about the trade at first, mainly because I didn't want Seneca Freaking Wallace starting over my Notre Dame boy Brady Quinn. So I talked myself into it by theorizing the following:
...In theory, Mike Holmgren could have cut ties with Eric Mangini after last season and become the coach. Instead, he kept Mangini to run the team while Holmgren gave him the pieces. And while it's pretty certain Holmgren will have quite a bit of say in what goes on, I doubt he's on the field pointing fingers and directing traffic. (If he does, then I'm confused about the decision to keep Mangini.)
...In theory, Holmgren taught a lot of what he knows to Seneca Wallace. Holmgren coached Steve Young at BYU and San Francisco, along with Joe Montana. When Holmgren got to Green Bay, he had Brett Favre. He mentored Matt Hasselbeck in Seattle along with Wallace. Not that he taught these guys everything they know, but there's something to his quarterback teaching methods.
...In theory, Seneca Wallace can be a sort of player-coach with the Browns. Who did Brady Quinn talk with on the sidelines after he won the starting job in Cleveland?? Derek Anderson. He beat Anderson out for the position, but still looked to him for advice and another set of eyes. It goes back to the old adage that many times your starters are only as good as their scout team creates them to be.
Seneca Wallace's addition all but ended Derek Anderson's tenure in Cleveland, as he was cut the day after the Wallace trade was announced. I've been a huge critic of Anderson in his time with the Browns, making me one of the ruthless fans who doesn't deserve a winner (oh wait, maybe I regret saying that). D.A. critics and lovers alike often say that he needed more weapons to have more success, which could be true. But there's one few thing I'd like to make clear.
Stop calling him a Pro Bowl quarterback -- set the bar with the All-Pro list. Anderson was added to the Pro Bowl roster in 2007 because Tom Brady was put on the injured list. In other words, if a plane carrying 2011 Pro Bowl players out to Hawaii takes a nose dive and lands on a remote island where no one can make contact, JaMarcus Russell could be on the Pro Bowl roster for the AFC. And I said, "could." Just making the Pro Bowl these days is a watered-down achievement.
For all I know, Brady Quinn could be gone by the end of the week, by the draft or he could start the season and be out of the top spot on the depth chart by the third game. But I like what I've seen so far, especially if Seneca Wallace can be the player version of Mike Holmgren. The next few months should be very interesting for the Browns.
By the way, Derek Anderson, I know you apologized for your post-release comments, but I think you had it right when you wished for your future team, not necessarily you individually, to roll the Browns when you meet again. Just remember, the chances of you completing two passes and winning again aren't very high.
Let's start with rumors -- it was David Carr to Cleveland if San Francisco didn't sign him. I hoped this wasn't a starting quarterback move, but actually wasn't too terribly unhappy about it simply for the comedy factor. In their heydays of starting, the Tim Couch - David Carr tandem took 425 sacks, which filters down to 3.17 sacks per start between them. To put that in perspective with one of the best, Peyton Manning's career goes two years longer than Couch-Carr combined and he has averaged 1.12 sacks per start (not that the Browns had any chance to draft him anyway).
Once Carr was off the table, the focus shifted to Seattle backup quarterback Seneca Wallace. The Browns landed him in a trade on Thursday, sending a late-round pick in the 2011 draft to the Seahawks (assuming Wallace passes a physical Wednesday). I was very unsure about the trade at first, mainly because I didn't want Seneca Freaking Wallace starting over my Notre Dame boy Brady Quinn. So I talked myself into it by theorizing the following:
...In theory, Mike Holmgren could have cut ties with Eric Mangini after last season and become the coach. Instead, he kept Mangini to run the team while Holmgren gave him the pieces. And while it's pretty certain Holmgren will have quite a bit of say in what goes on, I doubt he's on the field pointing fingers and directing traffic. (If he does, then I'm confused about the decision to keep Mangini.)
...In theory, Holmgren taught a lot of what he knows to Seneca Wallace. Holmgren coached Steve Young at BYU and San Francisco, along with Joe Montana. When Holmgren got to Green Bay, he had Brett Favre. He mentored Matt Hasselbeck in Seattle along with Wallace. Not that he taught these guys everything they know, but there's something to his quarterback teaching methods.
...In theory, Seneca Wallace can be a sort of player-coach with the Browns. Who did Brady Quinn talk with on the sidelines after he won the starting job in Cleveland?? Derek Anderson. He beat Anderson out for the position, but still looked to him for advice and another set of eyes. It goes back to the old adage that many times your starters are only as good as their scout team creates them to be.
Seneca Wallace's addition all but ended Derek Anderson's tenure in Cleveland, as he was cut the day after the Wallace trade was announced. I've been a huge critic of Anderson in his time with the Browns, making me one of the ruthless fans who doesn't deserve a winner (oh wait, maybe I regret saying that). D.A. critics and lovers alike often say that he needed more weapons to have more success, which could be true. But there's one few thing I'd like to make clear.
Stop calling him a Pro Bowl quarterback -- set the bar with the All-Pro list. Anderson was added to the Pro Bowl roster in 2007 because Tom Brady was put on the injured list. In other words, if a plane carrying 2011 Pro Bowl players out to Hawaii takes a nose dive and lands on a remote island where no one can make contact, JaMarcus Russell could be on the Pro Bowl roster for the AFC. And I said, "could." Just making the Pro Bowl these days is a watered-down achievement.
For all I know, Brady Quinn could be gone by the end of the week, by the draft or he could start the season and be out of the top spot on the depth chart by the third game. But I like what I've seen so far, especially if Seneca Wallace can be the player version of Mike Holmgren. The next few months should be very interesting for the Browns.
By the way, Derek Anderson, I know you apologized for your post-release comments, but I think you had it right when you wished for your future team, not necessarily you individually, to roll the Browns when you meet again. Just remember, the chances of you completing two passes and winning again aren't very high.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
NFL Combine Needs to Take a Deep Breath
"It's a much longer season."
"Playing at least four more games is really tough."
"My old team could have beaten the Rams."
They're all noted as being the differences between college football and the NFL (OK, I may have made the last one up). And almost every week early in the season, at both the college and professional levels, we hear about the necessity to remember one thing: it's a marathon, not a sprint.
For such a long season, the NFL sure likes to put the emphasis on anything that's quick. How quickly can you run for a short distance?? How quickly can you reach the lineman across from you on the snap of the ball?? How quickly can you run side-to-side, backwards and every other which way??
What I'd like to know is not only how fast, but for how long.
I think the NFL Combine for college players is great, but I'd really like to see two things added to the list, both involving the long run.
First of all, along with measuring wingspan, measure lung capacity. For one thing, it would cut down on any off-season (or in-season for that matter) cigarette breaks, but it's also one of those physical characteristics that can be overlooked. How do you work on running for longer?? Often you start by increasing lung capacity.
Another addition: instead of setting the distance, set the time -- run as many yards as you can for 30 minutes. These soon-to-be NFL players can run a 40-yard dash before ESPN reporter Rachel Nichols would even consider blinking twice. But the mental strain comes in running down and back, down and back, down and back... but doing it faster than anyone else can do it.
I've often considered this as an Olympic event as well because the finish line is in your own mind. Plus, think of the television opportunities -- it'd be very similar to Olympic cross-country skiing. Watch for a few minutes from the start, take a commercial break, go to another part of the combine for a bit, check out the 15-17 minute time period, go back to the desk with Rich Eisen and company, then see the end. And who wouldn't want to watch a defensive tackle lumber for a half hour?? (OK, first revision: times would have to fit the positions)
Imagine a world in which coaches actually had a better idea as to how long a player could go before needing a breather. I mean, these ideas are better than adding questions to the Wonderlic, right??
"Playing at least four more games is really tough."
"My old team could have beaten the Rams."
They're all noted as being the differences between college football and the NFL (OK, I may have made the last one up). And almost every week early in the season, at both the college and professional levels, we hear about the necessity to remember one thing: it's a marathon, not a sprint.
For such a long season, the NFL sure likes to put the emphasis on anything that's quick. How quickly can you run for a short distance?? How quickly can you reach the lineman across from you on the snap of the ball?? How quickly can you run side-to-side, backwards and every other which way??
What I'd like to know is not only how fast, but for how long.
I think the NFL Combine for college players is great, but I'd really like to see two things added to the list, both involving the long run.
First of all, along with measuring wingspan, measure lung capacity. For one thing, it would cut down on any off-season (or in-season for that matter) cigarette breaks, but it's also one of those physical characteristics that can be overlooked. How do you work on running for longer?? Often you start by increasing lung capacity.
Another addition: instead of setting the distance, set the time -- run as many yards as you can for 30 minutes. These soon-to-be NFL players can run a 40-yard dash before ESPN reporter Rachel Nichols would even consider blinking twice. But the mental strain comes in running down and back, down and back, down and back... but doing it faster than anyone else can do it.
I've often considered this as an Olympic event as well because the finish line is in your own mind. Plus, think of the television opportunities -- it'd be very similar to Olympic cross-country skiing. Watch for a few minutes from the start, take a commercial break, go to another part of the combine for a bit, check out the 15-17 minute time period, go back to the desk with Rich Eisen and company, then see the end. And who wouldn't want to watch a defensive tackle lumber for a half hour?? (OK, first revision: times would have to fit the positions)
Imagine a world in which coaches actually had a better idea as to how long a player could go before needing a breather. I mean, these ideas are better than adding questions to the Wonderlic, right??
Monday, February 15, 2010
For the Love Birds
I've never been a big person for reading. It's not that I can't do it, it's just that I had trouble keeping myself focused on that one thing at a time. Maybe I have some minor form of ADD -- or maybe I was just disinterested. Many of us grew up reading what was on the syllabus. Johnny Tremain comes to mind for me.
"Here, read this book, then we'll talk about it."
"Well what's it about??"
"That's why you read it."
End of discussion.
I say all of this because I'm reading a book for the second time, something I never before understood and swore I'd never do. It's The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly, a book I can't even remember receiving. I believe I was in grade school, taking an afternoon "field trip" to the high school for Kelly's speech. Everyone got a copy of this book at the end. What I do know is that it sat on my bookshelves in many residences (Tiffin, Athens, Madison) before I finally made it a point to read it. And now I'm reading it again.
For those of you who absolutely despise religious undertones, you probably won't like it because you won't get past them. For those of you who are open to that idea, it's a great "look yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see because I bet you don't actually like it" type of book.
In this second read-through, I came across one passage that is (or was, now that I'm a day late) appropriate for those love birds taking in all that Valentine's Day has to offer. Kelly is a public speaker who, in this passage, is asking a group of high school students, "What do you want from life?" and responds to the answer of one young woman in particular.
...
A young woman said, "A gorgeous man who is kind and loving." I asked her, as I had asked the young man earlier, had she succeeded in locating one yet. She wasn't shy and she volleyed by saying, "How will I know when I find him? How will I know he is the one?"
"Not because he tells you he loves you. Not because of the gifts he gives you. Not because of the way that he looks at you. And, it certainly is not 'in his kiss.'" They laughed, and I continued, "At least these things alone are not enough upon which to decide. You see love is not what love says. Love is not what love says it will do, or even promises it will do. Love is what love does. And gifts - chocolates and flowers, jewelry and fancy clothes, these are not gifts. Often, these are only excuses and apologies for not giving the only true gift - a portion of one's self. When you are wondering, pondering, and praying to discover if he really is the one for you, consider this one idea, You deserve to be cherished. Cherished!" We held eye contact for a moment or two, her eyes began to well with tears, and I knew she understood.
...
No doubt I will be sharing more from this book in the future. Between this and Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin, I've had my share of very inspiring reads in the last couple of months, which is why I'm am starting to doubt less and less my decision to move on.
Hopefully everyone (even those of us celebrating "Singles Awareness Day") had a happy, and loving, Valentine's Day -- and that you can give of yourself sometime soon.
=====
Book reference:
Matthew Kelly, The Rhythm of Life: An Antidote for Our Busy Age. Steubenville: Beacon Publishing, 1999.
"Here, read this book, then we'll talk about it."
"Well what's it about??"
"That's why you read it."
End of discussion.
I say all of this because I'm reading a book for the second time, something I never before understood and swore I'd never do. It's The Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly, a book I can't even remember receiving. I believe I was in grade school, taking an afternoon "field trip" to the high school for Kelly's speech. Everyone got a copy of this book at the end. What I do know is that it sat on my bookshelves in many residences (Tiffin, Athens, Madison) before I finally made it a point to read it. And now I'm reading it again.
For those of you who absolutely despise religious undertones, you probably won't like it because you won't get past them. For those of you who are open to that idea, it's a great "look yourself in the mirror and tell me what you see because I bet you don't actually like it" type of book.
In this second read-through, I came across one passage that is (or was, now that I'm a day late) appropriate for those love birds taking in all that Valentine's Day has to offer. Kelly is a public speaker who, in this passage, is asking a group of high school students, "What do you want from life?" and responds to the answer of one young woman in particular.
...
A young woman said, "A gorgeous man who is kind and loving." I asked her, as I had asked the young man earlier, had she succeeded in locating one yet. She wasn't shy and she volleyed by saying, "How will I know when I find him? How will I know he is the one?"
"Not because he tells you he loves you. Not because of the gifts he gives you. Not because of the way that he looks at you. And, it certainly is not 'in his kiss.'" They laughed, and I continued, "At least these things alone are not enough upon which to decide. You see love is not what love says. Love is not what love says it will do, or even promises it will do. Love is what love does. And gifts - chocolates and flowers, jewelry and fancy clothes, these are not gifts. Often, these are only excuses and apologies for not giving the only true gift - a portion of one's self. When you are wondering, pondering, and praying to discover if he really is the one for you, consider this one idea, You deserve to be cherished. Cherished!" We held eye contact for a moment or two, her eyes began to well with tears, and I knew she understood.
...
No doubt I will be sharing more from this book in the future. Between this and Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin, I've had my share of very inspiring reads in the last couple of months, which is why I'm am starting to doubt less and less my decision to move on.
Hopefully everyone (even those of us celebrating "Singles Awareness Day") had a happy, and loving, Valentine's Day -- and that you can give of yourself sometime soon.
=====
Book reference:
Matthew Kelly, The Rhythm of Life: An Antidote for Our Busy Age. Steubenville: Beacon Publishing, 1999.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Take This Leap
It's not often we burst through a door blindfolded when we're unsure where it leads. Most of life has been calculated risks. Even our most spontaneous moments aren't really that spontaneous -- they're events that we decide to do all of a sudden, and they may involve doing something crazy, but in reality they're events that we at least knew something about before taking it on.
I, on the other hand, have committed myself to putting on the blindfold and feeling my way around the unknown room on the other side of the door.
I told my bosses last Friday (coincidentally, on 2/5, which unexpectedly goes along with my theory of 2010 being "my year") that I was quitting. It's not immediate and is anything but simple.
In the TV biz, there are ratings periods when stations battle to get the most viewers -- a higher number of viewers means a higher price the station can charge advertisers. In other words, ratings are big, which is why I didn't want to leave during a ratings period (the current one, February) or give my two weeks' notice with barely enough time to train a new producer before the next ratings period in May. So my explanation is this: if I find another job, I won't leave before the beginning of March; if I don't find another job, I'll be leaving for home in the end of April.
I got into the TV business hoping I could break in as a sports guy. When my resume tape lacked what I needed, I took a job as a news producer, hoping a year or two of general TV experience would somehow vault me ahead. The reality is that it may have held me back. That has nothing to do with the people I work with or the way I developed as a person with this job and everything to do with the work itself. Even before leaving Ohio University in June 2008, I knew I wasn't really that interested in the "news" side of television, yet I ventured into this realm with the thought that I might be able to figure something out.
I never did figure it out. In other words, I never found my passion for it. This realization has really made me think recently about what the heck could ever work out for me. Will I be going from job to job looking for an elusive "passion" sense?? Or will my ability to move on now help me to put this in the rear view and find what quenches my life's passion?? I don't know, you don't know, no one really knows -- but we'll be finding out soon.
Thanks to anyone who's had to listen to me complain about my job (again, the actual news-ness of it, NOT the people!!) over the last year or so. And anyone with a known job opening in Ohio, please let me know. I'm open to just about anything right now.
I'd rather forget and not slow down, which is how I'm approaching the next few months of my life. And if nothing else works out, I'll invest in bags of potato chips and NASCAR. Only in America.
I, on the other hand, have committed myself to putting on the blindfold and feeling my way around the unknown room on the other side of the door.
I told my bosses last Friday (coincidentally, on 2/5, which unexpectedly goes along with my theory of 2010 being "my year") that I was quitting. It's not immediate and is anything but simple.
In the TV biz, there are ratings periods when stations battle to get the most viewers -- a higher number of viewers means a higher price the station can charge advertisers. In other words, ratings are big, which is why I didn't want to leave during a ratings period (the current one, February) or give my two weeks' notice with barely enough time to train a new producer before the next ratings period in May. So my explanation is this: if I find another job, I won't leave before the beginning of March; if I don't find another job, I'll be leaving for home in the end of April.
I got into the TV business hoping I could break in as a sports guy. When my resume tape lacked what I needed, I took a job as a news producer, hoping a year or two of general TV experience would somehow vault me ahead. The reality is that it may have held me back. That has nothing to do with the people I work with or the way I developed as a person with this job and everything to do with the work itself. Even before leaving Ohio University in June 2008, I knew I wasn't really that interested in the "news" side of television, yet I ventured into this realm with the thought that I might be able to figure something out.
I never did figure it out. In other words, I never found my passion for it. This realization has really made me think recently about what the heck could ever work out for me. Will I be going from job to job looking for an elusive "passion" sense?? Or will my ability to move on now help me to put this in the rear view and find what quenches my life's passion?? I don't know, you don't know, no one really knows -- but we'll be finding out soon.
Thanks to anyone who's had to listen to me complain about my job (again, the actual news-ness of it, NOT the people!!) over the last year or so. And anyone with a known job opening in Ohio, please let me know. I'm open to just about anything right now.
I'd rather forget and not slow down, which is how I'm approaching the next few months of my life. And if nothing else works out, I'll invest in bags of potato chips and NASCAR. Only in America.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Winner of Best E-Mail
This was my submission for Week 13 in the NFL Against the Spread picks league. I'm honored to have won "Best E-mail" among such great competition. I'm also the only idiot dumb enough to think up a ton of poems...
===============================
St. Louis @ Chicago (-9.5) -- CHI
When it's Bulger or Boller to choose at QB,
that's really no winning platoon.
And along with Jay Cutler we're likely to see
At least 17 picks this afternoon.
Tampa Bay @ Carolina (-6.5) -- TB
When I heard "Of The Man" would be on the bench,
I just had to change my choice.
Compared to the Ukrainian car that's Matt Moore
Ol' Jake's a brand new Rolls Royce.
Houston @ Jacksonville (-0.5) -- JAX
Ballbuster Pick of the Week: Taking home team in the 4th game listed.
Naturally, it is also the Gus Johnson game of the week, so a pick here only seems right.
Denver (-4.5) @ Kansas City -- KC
Arrowhead's not a good place to be
When you're heading there in December.
It's like being Barnes at a New York club
And white guy dance moves are all you can remember.
Tennessee @ Indianapolis (-6.5) -- TENN
I think I would listen if Chris Johnson told me
That he had a cure for cancer.
But he says the Titans will win out with Vince
And this Sunday we'll get a better answer.
Philadelphia (-5.5) @ Atlanta -- PHILLY
The sight of Mike Vick back in ATL
Could be a bit uneasy.
But it's the thought of Andy Reid eating Southern food
That's making me feel queasy.
And if ever a coach could do that to me
It'd be Reid or Eric Mangini.
New Orleans (-9.5) @ Washington -- WAS
Whose backfield has cooler names
Than Clinton, Ladell and Rock.
But then again we haven't seen much out of them
Except head injuries and inability to block.
Oakland @ Pittsburgh (-13.5) -- PITT
The Steelers weren't Stellars last week
With Dixon under center.
Hines Ward shouldn't talk, instead he should be
Serving as Big Ben's rape case mentor.
Detroit @ Cincinnati (-13.5) -- CIN
Both of these teams considered to be cats
When Lions and Bengals play.
Which basically means they can't eat 20 wings
At Hooters on any day.
New England (-4.5) @ Miami -- NE
Billy B.'s been lookin puzzled
Quite a bit this year.
No Brady knee, no camera cheats
To blame for all the jeers.
And so the pressers will drone on
With monotony... not tears.
Dallas (-1.5) @ New York Giants -- DAL
No poem for this.
The douche deserves his custom.
Romo is homo.
San Francisco @ Seattle (-0.5) -- SF
In battles between TV cities
With the "Full House," and "Frasier" shows,
I take Uncle Jesse to have no pity
On the Cranes' suits and richy-rich glow.
San Diego (-12.5) @ Cleveland -- SD
And what do I say about this gross affair
'tween lightning bolts and chunks of poop??
There's little to say that hasn't been said
On continuous and negative loop.
So I'll just save my mind and just save my time
And assume that the Browns won't regroup.
Minnesota (-3.5) @ Arizona -- MINN
Although he may not play in this game
Kurt Warner knows much more tonight.
Tim Tebow's not God and Brett Favre's lost one too
So the prayers can continue each night.
Baltimore @ Green Bay (-3.5) -- GB
I'll be in the stadium this Monday night,
Wearing a bullet-proof vest.
But Ray Lewis used a knife to kill a man right,
So having a body guard might be the best.
===============================
St. Louis @ Chicago (-9.5) -- CHI
When it's Bulger or Boller to choose at QB,
that's really no winning platoon.
And along with Jay Cutler we're likely to see
At least 17 picks this afternoon.
Tampa Bay @ Carolina (-6.5) -- TB
When I heard "Of The Man" would be on the bench,
I just had to change my choice.
Compared to the Ukrainian car that's Matt Moore
Ol' Jake's a brand new Rolls Royce.
Houston @ Jacksonville (-0.5) -- JAX
Ballbuster Pick of the Week: Taking home team in the 4th game listed.
Naturally, it is also the Gus Johnson game of the week, so a pick here only seems right.
Denver (-4.5) @ Kansas City -- KC
Arrowhead's not a good place to be
When you're heading there in December.
It's like being Barnes at a New York club
And white guy dance moves are all you can remember.
Tennessee @ Indianapolis (-6.5) -- TENN
I think I would listen if Chris Johnson told me
That he had a cure for cancer.
But he says the Titans will win out with Vince
And this Sunday we'll get a better answer.
Philadelphia (-5.5) @ Atlanta -- PHILLY
The sight of Mike Vick back in ATL
Could be a bit uneasy.
But it's the thought of Andy Reid eating Southern food
That's making me feel queasy.
And if ever a coach could do that to me
It'd be Reid or Eric Mangini.
New Orleans (-9.5) @ Washington -- WAS
Whose backfield has cooler names
Than Clinton, Ladell and Rock.
But then again we haven't seen much out of them
Except head injuries and inability to block.
Oakland @ Pittsburgh (-13.5) -- PITT
The Steelers weren't Stellars last week
With Dixon under center.
Hines Ward shouldn't talk, instead he should be
Serving as Big Ben's rape case mentor.
Detroit @ Cincinnati (-13.5) -- CIN
Both of these teams considered to be cats
When Lions and Bengals play.
Which basically means they can't eat 20 wings
At Hooters on any day.
New England (-4.5) @ Miami -- NE
Billy B.'s been lookin puzzled
Quite a bit this year.
No Brady knee, no camera cheats
To blame for all the jeers.
And so the pressers will drone on
With monotony... not tears.
Dallas (-1.5) @ New York Giants -- DAL
No poem for this.
The douche deserves his custom.
Romo is homo.
San Francisco @ Seattle (-0.5) -- SF
In battles between TV cities
With the "Full House," and "Frasier" shows,
I take Uncle Jesse to have no pity
On the Cranes' suits and richy-rich glow.
San Diego (-12.5) @ Cleveland -- SD
And what do I say about this gross affair
'tween lightning bolts and chunks of poop??
There's little to say that hasn't been said
On continuous and negative loop.
So I'll just save my mind and just save my time
And assume that the Browns won't regroup.
Minnesota (-3.5) @ Arizona -- MINN
Although he may not play in this game
Kurt Warner knows much more tonight.
Tim Tebow's not God and Brett Favre's lost one too
So the prayers can continue each night.
Baltimore @ Green Bay (-3.5) -- GB
I'll be in the stadium this Monday night,
Wearing a bullet-proof vest.
But Ray Lewis used a knife to kill a man right,
So having a body guard might be the best.
Friday, January 8, 2010
The State of Wow
There haven't been any outrageous changes since the last post. But what happened to me Thursday night before I went to sleep was a moment when I had to smile and say, out loud, "Wow." And if you haven't had a chance to read my last post, "The State of Whoops," then now may be a good time to visit it because not much in this post will make sense without it. It's funny how things can at least make a little more sense if you give them a chance to do so.
I guess you could say it all started with cleaning my desk yesterday morning. Or with a random book purchase a few years back. Or with high school football. Or, I suppose, with my birth. No matter how it's sliced, we end up here, so the beginning details don't matter a ton. The following thoughts will seem scattered, but they really do all tie together, so I'll number them to easier separate.
1) My favorite number has been 25 for awhile now. It was my number in high school football, mainly because my previously favorite number, 24, wasn't available when I entered as a freshman. So I took the number one spot higher (the same number I held in junior high football) and it has been mine ever since. A lot of what I do -- screen names, passwords, lottery picks -- uses the number 25 in some way.
2) I'm not sure when I started liking poetry. I think it was at the point where I really didn't want to read literature, especially anything that was really old, mainly because it didn't speak with me (and still doesn't today, as many of my favorite books are biographies, self-help and non-fiction. aka "real stuff"). But poetry could be completely abstract and wouldn't come across as a big block of words on the page.
Instead, it was small blocks of words -- stanzas, often times open for interpretation. This is what drives many people away from poetry or prose pieces because they need a "right" answer. They need to know what exactly the author or narrator is trying to say. But I feel it's harder to write good poetry (especially when rhyming and keeping strict rhyme patterns) because everything is measured. You can't waste words.
I'm not sure when I bought, "The Best Loved Poetry of the American People," but I know I didn't spend more than $3 on it and I know that the copyright date is 1936. I also know that I've read very few of the 648 pages. I liked the book because it was split into sections of poems concerning things like: inspiration, poems that tell a story, love and friendship, childhood and youth, humor and whimsey, etc. And there are a ton of poems that make up this hardcover book. In fact, I only had one bookmarked.
3) In cleaning off my desk, I found an old small sheet of note paper with a poem on it. My Intro to Poetry class group used this poem, "Thinking About the Past," by Donald Justice, in our final project. I've been thinking about my past a lot lately, so it was weird that I finally decided to clean up, for whatever reason, and found this paper.
2.5) I replaced an old receipt marking my bookmarked poem with that note paper from my desk.
4) My favorite poem in the book doesn't matter so much in content (at least not right now) as in something I noticed for the first time Thursday night before going to sleep. It's located on page 25 of that book printed in 1936. My favorite poem in the book on the page of my favorite number. And I closed the book and got into bed for the night.
But it was too odd to leave at that. I got out of bed, turned on the light, and went to another 25 -- page 125. And in the section marked "Inspiration" I found "To the Men Who Lose" by George L. Scarborough. I'll spare you the space of typing out the entire poem, but considering myself kind of a "hard luck loser" at times, the whole thing made sense to me, especially the lines:
"The king is he who, after fierce defeat,
Can up and fight again."
I've always felt that desire, patience and persistence can combine to become a great weapon in life and these lines really re-iterated that to me.
Page 225 was a continuation, so I skipped it. But on page 325 is "Pray Without Ceasing" by Ophelia Guyton Browning. I'm going to go a little Colt McCoy on you here -- but with the belief in God part, not the blowing out my arm part. I've been praying for some guidance/answers for a long time and right when I feel like it's been a waste, I randomly find this:
"Unanswered yet? tho' when you first presented
This one petition at the Father's throne,
It seemed you could not wait the time of asking,
So anxious was your heart to have it done;
If years have passed since then, do not despair,
For God will answer you sometime, somewhere."
It was, at this point, that I said, out loud, to myself... "Wow." Call it complete coincidence, call it a sign, call it what you want -- this was something really, really weird to happen when it did. And it reminded me of a great dialogue from my favorite movie, "Rudy." The scene in the church goes:
Father Cavanaugh: Well, you did a helluva job, kid. Chasing down your dreams.
Rudy: I don't care what kind of job I did. If it doesn't produce results, it doesn't mean anything.
Fr. Cavanaugh: I think you'll discover that it will.
Rudy: Maybe I haven't prayed enough.
Fr. Cavanaugh: I'm sure that's not the problem. Praying is something we do in our time. The answers come in God's time.
Obviously the movie speeds up the process and Rudy gets accepted to Notre Dame in the next scene. But the message, at least for me, is still there. We can try all we want to control everything, and yet, there are things that just seem (or truly are) out of our control.
=====
So the overall concept here is that sometimes waiting isn't so bad. Sometimes if you turn "waiting" into "anticipating" you can keep your mind at ease, at least for a little while.
And sometimes, it pays to clean your desk if you're willing to be "wowed."
So I'll end this more upbeat post in much the same way I ended my somewhat depressing post of just a few days ago:
"If it's meant to be, it'll happen." Here's a toast to the hope that the best lies ahead in 2010 -- the year in which I turn 25 years old.
-----
Cited in this post:
"The Best Loved Poems of the American People." Selected by Hazel Felleman. New York: Doubleday & Company, Inc., 1936.
"Rudy." David Anspaugh, dir. Robert N. Fried, prod. Cary Woods, prod. DVD. Tri-Star, 1993.
I guess you could say it all started with cleaning my desk yesterday morning. Or with a random book purchase a few years back. Or with high school football. Or, I suppose, with my birth. No matter how it's sliced, we end up here, so the beginning details don't matter a ton. The following thoughts will seem scattered, but they really do all tie together, so I'll number them to easier separate.
1) My favorite number has been 25 for awhile now. It was my number in high school football, mainly because my previously favorite number, 24, wasn't available when I entered as a freshman. So I took the number one spot higher (the same number I held in junior high football) and it has been mine ever since. A lot of what I do -- screen names, passwords, lottery picks -- uses the number 25 in some way.
2) I'm not sure when I started liking poetry. I think it was at the point where I really didn't want to read literature, especially anything that was really old, mainly because it didn't speak with me (and still doesn't today, as many of my favorite books are biographies, self-help and non-fiction. aka "real stuff"). But poetry could be completely abstract and wouldn't come across as a big block of words on the page.
Instead, it was small blocks of words -- stanzas, often times open for interpretation. This is what drives many people away from poetry or prose pieces because they need a "right" answer. They need to know what exactly the author or narrator is trying to say. But I feel it's harder to write good poetry (especially when rhyming and keeping strict rhyme patterns) because everything is measured. You can't waste words.
I'm not sure when I bought, "The Best Loved Poetry of the American People," but I know I didn't spend more than $3 on it and I know that the copyright date is 1936. I also know that I've read very few of the 648 pages. I liked the book because it was split into sections of poems concerning things like: inspiration, poems that tell a story, love and friendship, childhood and youth, humor and whimsey, etc. And there are a ton of poems that make up this hardcover book. In fact, I only had one bookmarked.
3) In cleaning off my desk, I found an old small sheet of note paper with a poem on it. My Intro to Poetry class group used this poem, "Thinking About the Past," by Donald Justice, in our final project. I've been thinking about my past a lot lately, so it was weird that I finally decided to clean up, for whatever reason, and found this paper.
2.5) I replaced an old receipt marking my bookmarked poem with that note paper from my desk.
4) My favorite poem in the book doesn't matter so much in content (at least not right now) as in something I noticed for the first time Thursday night before going to sleep. It's located on page 25 of that book printed in 1936. My favorite poem in the book on the page of my favorite number. And I closed the book and got into bed for the night.
But it was too odd to leave at that. I got out of bed, turned on the light, and went to another 25 -- page 125. And in the section marked "Inspiration" I found "To the Men Who Lose" by George L. Scarborough. I'll spare you the space of typing out the entire poem, but considering myself kind of a "hard luck loser" at times, the whole thing made sense to me, especially the lines:
"The king is he who, after fierce defeat,
Can up and fight again."
I've always felt that desire, patience and persistence can combine to become a great weapon in life and these lines really re-iterated that to me.
Page 225 was a continuation, so I skipped it. But on page 325 is "Pray Without Ceasing" by Ophelia Guyton Browning. I'm going to go a little Colt McCoy on you here -- but with the belief in God part, not the blowing out my arm part. I've been praying for some guidance/answers for a long time and right when I feel like it's been a waste, I randomly find this:
"Unanswered yet? tho' when you first presented
This one petition at the Father's throne,
It seemed you could not wait the time of asking,
So anxious was your heart to have it done;
If years have passed since then, do not despair,
For God will answer you sometime, somewhere."
It was, at this point, that I said, out loud, to myself... "Wow." Call it complete coincidence, call it a sign, call it what you want -- this was something really, really weird to happen when it did. And it reminded me of a great dialogue from my favorite movie, "Rudy." The scene in the church goes:
Father Cavanaugh: Well, you did a helluva job, kid. Chasing down your dreams.
Rudy: I don't care what kind of job I did. If it doesn't produce results, it doesn't mean anything.
Fr. Cavanaugh: I think you'll discover that it will.
Rudy: Maybe I haven't prayed enough.
Fr. Cavanaugh: I'm sure that's not the problem. Praying is something we do in our time. The answers come in God's time.
Obviously the movie speeds up the process and Rudy gets accepted to Notre Dame in the next scene. But the message, at least for me, is still there. We can try all we want to control everything, and yet, there are things that just seem (or truly are) out of our control.
=====
So the overall concept here is that sometimes waiting isn't so bad. Sometimes if you turn "waiting" into "anticipating" you can keep your mind at ease, at least for a little while.
And sometimes, it pays to clean your desk if you're willing to be "wowed."
So I'll end this more upbeat post in much the same way I ended my somewhat depressing post of just a few days ago:
"If it's meant to be, it'll happen." Here's a toast to the hope that the best lies ahead in 2010 -- the year in which I turn 25 years old.
-----
Cited in this post:
"The Best Loved Poems of the American People." Selected by Hazel Felleman. New York: Doubleday & Company, Inc., 1936.
"Rudy." David Anspaugh, dir. Robert N. Fried, prod. Cary Woods, prod. DVD. Tri-Star, 1993.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The State of Whoops
You either think it or you don't -- the sentiment that "if it's meant to be, it'll happen." I'm a believer, but not because it's easy to be one. In fact, 2009 was a year that tested my belief in that theory probably more than any year before it.
"A man's doubts and fears are his worst enemies." Or, you could say, a man must continue on with his life and what he's doing. I find it interesting that this quote comes from William Wrigley Jr., a name made famous by chewing gum. When you chew gum, it's usually the one constant in what you're doing. And it doesn't really matter what emotions you're feeling -- you can chew gum when you're happy, sad, angry, or whatever. But no matter what's going on around you, you know how to chew it.
Almost exactly one year ago, I sat in the freezing cold bedroom of my apartment wondering what the year had in store. I was starting my path towards something new. Job applications were going left and right. My research into education programs was just beginning and I was prepared to start everything up again.
Instead, I spent a 365 days building up and tearing down as another job application was denied, either for inexperience or for lack of degree or for lack of employment available. Sometimes it was worse, building up for a job for which I applied, then never hearing any response, as if being thrown out of a plane with no parachute, knowing it was a lost cause at the end, but not knowing when the end would be. In the end, as I looked back at 2009, it was a lot failure, plain and simple. Or as I've recently been prone to describe my life, "It's in a state of 'whoops.'"
"If it's meant to be, it'll happen." And if it's not meant to be, it won't. So in theory I should be happy to have found so many opportunities that were not meant to happen. In theory I should be glad to know that there are other options, other people, other things that are perfect for Kevin Hunt.
But then there's the resounding theme heard shortly after my wrestling career ended: "If he just had one more year." I won just one match at the District Tournament, but that one win secured me a winning season record at 18-17. I met the goal set out by my coaches and me at the beginning of the year, but there was a certain flavor of disappointment lingering. It was described in the season-ending banquet as, "If he had just one more year."
Head Coach Matt Coleman said those words with the best of intentions. They spoke to my leadership and my desire to work hard every single day. What he probably didn't intend them to do was to be a constant reminder that I spent a year playing basketball that really had no point. They weren't intended to be a reminder of how I missed the first year because I didn't know any better.
They are, however, one of the things I remember most about high school. I want to be clear -- this isn't a regret. For all we know, if I come back for another year of wrestling, I get thrown onto my neck and hurt my back to the point of no repair. Even so, I know that the probability was better that I would have only gotten better with the additional year.
So what am I missing?? Is the fact that I'm in a position that is only made tolerable by the people I work with and live with keeping me from getting that first year in something that holds much more promise?? Is there someone I'm not getting to know because, quite simply, I don't know her yet??
"If it's meant to be, it'll happen." Here's a toast to the hope that it happens early in 2010 -- before the only realization is that it's too late.
"A man's doubts and fears are his worst enemies." Or, you could say, a man must continue on with his life and what he's doing. I find it interesting that this quote comes from William Wrigley Jr., a name made famous by chewing gum. When you chew gum, it's usually the one constant in what you're doing. And it doesn't really matter what emotions you're feeling -- you can chew gum when you're happy, sad, angry, or whatever. But no matter what's going on around you, you know how to chew it.
Almost exactly one year ago, I sat in the freezing cold bedroom of my apartment wondering what the year had in store. I was starting my path towards something new. Job applications were going left and right. My research into education programs was just beginning and I was prepared to start everything up again.
Instead, I spent a 365 days building up and tearing down as another job application was denied, either for inexperience or for lack of degree or for lack of employment available. Sometimes it was worse, building up for a job for which I applied, then never hearing any response, as if being thrown out of a plane with no parachute, knowing it was a lost cause at the end, but not knowing when the end would be. In the end, as I looked back at 2009, it was a lot failure, plain and simple. Or as I've recently been prone to describe my life, "It's in a state of 'whoops.'"
"If it's meant to be, it'll happen." And if it's not meant to be, it won't. So in theory I should be happy to have found so many opportunities that were not meant to happen. In theory I should be glad to know that there are other options, other people, other things that are perfect for Kevin Hunt.
But then there's the resounding theme heard shortly after my wrestling career ended: "If he just had one more year." I won just one match at the District Tournament, but that one win secured me a winning season record at 18-17. I met the goal set out by my coaches and me at the beginning of the year, but there was a certain flavor of disappointment lingering. It was described in the season-ending banquet as, "If he had just one more year."
Head Coach Matt Coleman said those words with the best of intentions. They spoke to my leadership and my desire to work hard every single day. What he probably didn't intend them to do was to be a constant reminder that I spent a year playing basketball that really had no point. They weren't intended to be a reminder of how I missed the first year because I didn't know any better.
They are, however, one of the things I remember most about high school. I want to be clear -- this isn't a regret. For all we know, if I come back for another year of wrestling, I get thrown onto my neck and hurt my back to the point of no repair. Even so, I know that the probability was better that I would have only gotten better with the additional year.
So what am I missing?? Is the fact that I'm in a position that is only made tolerable by the people I work with and live with keeping me from getting that first year in something that holds much more promise?? Is there someone I'm not getting to know because, quite simply, I don't know her yet??
"If it's meant to be, it'll happen." Here's a toast to the hope that it happens early in 2010 -- before the only realization is that it's too late.
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