It all began with a blank 64-team bracket that was printed on a dry erase marker board. Sara gave it to me for some reason because she had no need for it and, quite honestly, I didn’t really either. But I took it because I hold things for much too long, adding this to the latest pile of unused junk that sat around Bromley Hall room 310. This board, however, sparked what would be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve even been a part of.
After March Madness 2006 passed, I pulled the bracket out and began thinking of some crazy match-ups that could be seen in real life. The movie “King Kong” had just come out and Papa John’s had the King Kong pizza. Luke and I ordered it for dinner one night and I came up with one of my trademark stupid lines – something to the effect of, “I’m pretty sure King Kong would be a #1 seed in any tournament.”
And so the “F’d Up Tourney” started. Luke, Sara and I filled the 64-space bracket with the most odd-balled and random match-ups of things in our lives...
**It might be easier to right-click the image and view it on its own**
The scoring system was based on simple coin flips, yet was very elaborate and depended on the round of the tournament. The higher seed in the match-up was awarded the tails side of the coin (a quarter that we deemed the “official” quarter of the F’d Up Tourney) and had to win a certain number of the coin flips. For example, in the first round the #1 seed had to win just one (I believe) coin flip out of 10 in order to advance. In the second round, the higher seeds had to win more (you get the point).
This scoring system didn’t lend its hand to an amazing amount of upsets in the first round, but subsequent rounds provided a lot of excitement. Unfortunately, I do not have the updated bracket with me here in Australia to share with the rest of the world. Suffice it to say that we created a bracket-style tournament that pitted random people (as well as things and ideas) against each other after having subjectively seeded them.
The most disappointing thing about the F’D Up Tourney is that, to this day, it isn’t finished. We didn’t complete it due to disagreements between people and places and things and nonsense, basically. As with any bracket, we put money on the whole thing, something like five dollars apiece between the three of us (though we never officially put anything in). The third member of Bromley 310 (besides Luke and me) was Matt Barnes and he hated the whole game that we eventually made into a Thursday night tradition (which is why Barnes is a 10-seed). Watch “The O.C.” then grab our brackets and start flipping.
The weeks listed on the bracket were supposed to be the weeks when we completed that round of the bracket, but it never ended up this way. We almost always flipped the coin way before we were supposed to. It was hilarious to sit there and talk about the made-up match-ups. Lesbians made a huge run in the tournament after having upset Gus Johnson in the first round. Keith Cawley was having a nice tournament as a 4-seed. If memory serves me right, The Browns won more in this tournament then they did the whole 2006 regular season.
I probably never laughed so hard that Spring Quarter as I did when we flipped for the F’d Up Tourney. It was a topic of discussion usually once a day. And the best part was that it was completely fictional – it had no bearing on anything. For this same reason, though, ESPN should NOT be making money off such a ridiculous segment. I know it’s a tough time of the year to be searching for good sports stories, but this is a nationally-based channel, so surely there must be a good story somewhere in the U.S.
It doesn’t really matter because we came up with it first – in the Spring of 2006. Completely fictional, yet an amazing way to spend time instead of the same old TV shows or staring at computers screens. My next life goal is to finally achieve a life goal – basically to actually go through on a good idea that makes its way to the top. Had Luke, Sara and I presented the idea to ESPN, we would have been laughed at (probably), but then they might have had a second look. So the moral of the blog is: no new idea is too stupid, it’s just different.
The moral of the next story is: try to find out what you’re getting into before taking it on.
Part of our foreign exchange student orientation at UniSA was an open house of different clubs and groups associated with the university, as well as area banks, meeting in one place to present what they have to offer to the students. One table held the spot for university recreational groups and I picked up a flier about “Touch Football.” As I described in a previous blog, Australia has three types of football: Aussie Rules Football (“footy”), rugby and soccer.
Take note that none of those is American Football. The guy manning the table, however, said that it was “football” and not “footy.” So I decided I’d check it out because I figured it would be a great way to eat up time while also keeping myself somewhat active and meeting new people. After figuring out a new bus route, I showed up for the Wednesday night league ready to play some football.
Of course, the guy was right. What I saw being played was not “footy” at all; it was “football.” Glorious “football.” In America, though, it’s called rugby. I stared blankly at one of the many matches going on at the park, trying to pull in everything I did not already know about rugby from having watched it on TV. I met up with the representative whom I had e-mailed earlier in the day and, lucky for me for my first game, they were going to be short in the numbers of guys that night, so I would get to play.
I wasn’t scared because I really had nothing to prove to anyone. I admittedly had no clue what was going on and just tried to understand everything I could from what my newly acquired teammates had to tell me. The worst was what one ‘mate, Megan, told me: “The rules are the easy part. It’s the strategy that’s really hard to pick up on.” When do I go in, Coach?? First, I needed a team shirt, which was provided to me as just being one of the extras in the team bag. I unfolded it to find the number 69 across the back. It might as well have said, “Please laugh at me more than you already are. Much Appreciated... Kevin.”
Thankfully, there were enough people there so I didn’t have to start the game. It was an upbeat and competitive atmosphere for a touch game, which I loved immediately. I got to soak up some more little tactics as told to me by some others who were on the sidelines beside me. When I got my chance to replace someone on the field, I was terrible. Dropped balls, bad passes, missed formations. The hardest part was keeping myself from moving forward because when I see a ball that I think I can intercept, I want to go get it. But the defense in rugby is mostly “zone,” so my running ahead made for a huge gap.
For those who aren’t familiar with rugby, the ball cannot be passed forward (it can be kicked forward, but that does not apply for this league). So being a receiver in my bygone days of high school football, though well in the past, must be sticking with me. I probably ran forward without the ball more than I ran backward to try and receive it.
After the teams ended in a 2-2 tie, everyone on the UniSA team got in a circle and talked about things that could have been done better/differently. I tried to take in as much as I could, attempting to sort out all the little things I learned throughout the course of the game. I was also told that, as usually happens with first-time players, I didn’t look completely lost for the whole time I was out there. Props to me, I guess. I really had no clue as to how well I performed, so it was nice to know that I didn’t completely stink. We have this Wednesday off, so I’ll bring you an update of my progression after the next match on August 1.
I keep a small notebook with me most of the time in case I come up with a random thought or encounter a situation that about which I want to remember to write. I want to get rid of some of these, so I’ll start putting the “non-stories” into my Notes section.
Notes:
+I’ve been asked why I’m quiet by fellow students and friends Sameer and Sohair. Their rationale?? Most Americans they’ve met were loud or, at least, talkative. I guess I’m not American by those standards. Maybe it’s because I’m shorter than the average American (by 3 inches). I usually like to think that I speak with my actions, in which case I would be overwhelmingly American: I eat too much fast food, I constantly have to get something done and I love apple pie and baseball.
+The pictures in my albums on facebook don’t lie – my hair hasn’t really grown at all since I came here. Either I’m in the early stages of balding (my downward spiral towards becoming George Costanza) or there’s just something in the water. But I’m not complaining because a haircut here probably costs 20 bucks. If that’s the case and my hair actually does get too long, I’ll probably just shave it off. Stay tuned.
+My cell phone doesn’t work here, so I usually keep my wristwatch on my book bag because I hate wearing watches – I like my arms to weigh the same (thanks Mitch Hedberg; rest in peace). But I noticed that based solely on my having a stopwatch, I started to time the most ridiculous things, like how long it takes for the crosswalk sign to go from one side to the other. The legitimate things I timed, such as how long it takes for the bus to go from our suburb to the city, really didn’t need the milliseconds attached. That, however, isn’t the point. The point is, I have the ability to get it exact and that’s precisely what I’m going to do. If you don’t follow into such a pattern, just consider me weird. It wouldn’t be the first time, so I don’t take offense or anything, I’m way past that stage.
That’s it for now. Love you all in the states, check back soon to find out how the first week of classes went for me.
From the other side of the globe, I’m Kevin Hunt.
If you want to see me soon, start digging.
1 comment:
who would be seeded higher, mitch hedburg or lewis black?
Post a Comment